From personal experience, I always ask for the buyer to use the friends/family option after a newbie here tried to get their money back from PayPal after he received his grill/smoker. It was really a pain in the butt to sort it out and basically turned me off from selling/shipping. (Especially members who haven’t been around very long)
Not sure how big a fee we’re talking about, but if you haven’t shipped the item yet, I would try to explain the situation to the buyer and see if they’ll agree to using Friends and Family. We’ve seen an uptick in scams, so I don’t blame them for protecting themselves. On the other hand, if the fee is negligible, consider it the price of a lesson learned.