@Thrillho I had to laugh at that. Fortunately for me with the distance between our houses it's just a dull rumble you can't get rid of. The first time it happened I thought something had gone wrong with my furnace before I realized it was coming from outside. It's the lady who lives next to him I feel sorry for. One day I was walking up the street on the way home from an afternoon shift and she was pounding on the door to no avail to try and get him to turn it down. Sometimes we've head the Eagles as well and a couple of movies at full volume. I just can't imagine what kind of SPL's he's got in that living room...
I'm glad you were able to get a house with a large yard because it has let you put some distance between the barbecue and the surrounding houses. If it was smaller and everyone was packed in closer, the situation would probably be a lot more tense. Part of the problem might be solvable seasonally. When it's heating season and everybody has their windows closed, the charcoal starting shouldn't be an issue. Likewise when it gets warm enough out that the windows are closed again because the air conditioning's on, so that means you only really need to worry about spring and fall. I was lucky with my house. Because of the way the blocks were divided up, the lots on my side of the street have incredibly deep lots so once winter's over, I move the barbecue way down into the yard so it's far from any of the houses and it stays there until it gets cold out again. Nobody has ever complained but I'm trying to be considerate, plus I'm enjoying my back yard too, but it sounds like you've already done something similar. Hopefully the situation can be managed so everyone's reasonably happy.