I'll tell you what doesn't work. Crayons. It was my wife's suggestion, and we have a ton of crayons.
Now that my Performer's up and running I find that a decent stack of charcoal, sans chimney, works OK, too, and there's no fear of freeing loose embers on my plasticized deck surface during the pick-it-up-and-turn-it-over procedure. 1buckie: I like the trap door plan your dad had!
That said, I like the Weber cubes a lot. Not a fan of paper very much. I've used Matchlight pieces under the chimney a few times in desperation.
One thing I wouldn't do, is light with the Performer gas-assist and place the kettle lid on. Well, when I say "I wouldn't do" I mean you shouldn't do. I did that once in damp weather, thinking it would heat up faster, and came back outside to see the kettle lid lifting off of the kettle. It kept popping up!